The First Step to Better Relationship

The First Step to Better Relationship



Most of us have problems with relationships from time to time. When relationships become abusive we all know serious problems are present. It is my intention to post the basic emotional needs of both men and women shortly. If these needs are not met, it can set the stage for abuse to start. There is one major step before this that should be the FIRST step in improving any interpersonal interaction.

We can not have a good relationship with any other person until we have a good relationship with GOD first. Many people know ABOUT God but to have a relationship with Him, we have to KNOW Him. What is the difference?Knowing about God can include us being aware of all the facts concerning Him. Many people think that knowing that Jesus Christ died for our sin is all that is needed for salvation. It is NOT! In order to have salvation that is to have eternal life there are a few basic steps we need to follow. This is so important I want to go over them,

1: We need to realize we have sinned. Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God This means we have failed to met the goal of being perfect in order to enter heaven. Few of us would question this.

2: The penalty for the sin that we are guilty of is death. Romans 6:23 tells us The wages of sin is death. (Death is separation. When our body dies, our soul is separated from our body. Eternal death is when we die without doing what is being explained here and then our spirit is separated from God for eternity.
Since the only price we can pay for our own sin is to be separated from God forever, it stands to reason that there is no way we can pay for our sin ourselves. We thus come to the 2nd part of Romans 6:23: but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ the Lord.

3: 2nd Corinthians 5:21 informs us: For he hath made him, who knew no sin, to be sin for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. Jesus Christ, God's only Son became sin for us so that we can be freed from the penalty of sin. What then do we need to do?

4: For GOD so loved the world that HE gave His only begotten Son that whosoever (read YOUR name here) believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Please note the ONLY condition given is that we believe in Jesus Christ for full payment for our sin.

5: Many times our own past activities or the activities of our ancestors may be a basis for demonic problems based on Exodus 20:5. It is important therefore to Renounce the sins of our ancestors.Now if we only learn these facts, even though we may understand that they are true and believe them. that is only knowing ABOUT GOD. How do we KNOW HIM then? It is APPLYING that payment to our account.

This would be like having a check to pay a bill and putting the check on a desk. The bill does not get paid because the check was never APPLIED to your account. Once we know and believe the facts pointed out above, the next step is to TALK to God much as you and I would and admit that we have fallen short of what He wants.

We recognize that we deserve to be separated from a Holy God. We then tell Him that we know that He has provided a payment for all our sin and this payment was Jesus Christ when He died on a cross.
It is at this time we ask God to APPLY THIS PAYMENT TO OUR ACCOUNT. We ask God to credit as PAYMENT IN FULL for all our sin the price Jesus paid for us. It is this step that gives us eternal life. If we do all but this step, we know about God.

When we do this step, we will KNOW God and we will have eternal life. Following is a model of a prayer to trust Christ.

Lord God, I now realize I am a sinner. I realize I have fallen short of the goal You have set forth for eternal life and I now repent of this sin. I also understand that according to Your Word, the Bible, that Your Son, Jesus Christ as paid the debt for me and I am now asking You to credit the payment Jesus made on the cross to my sin. Lord God, I also renounce any sin on the part of my ancestors that may have been invitations to curses or demonic activity. Lord God I also now understand that You have now given me eternal life and I thank You for that fact. Amen.

If you have prayed this prayer Please click on the scroll below and send us and e-mail so we can send you some information to help you grown in Christ. If you do not have a church home we would also like to try to help you find a Bible believing and teaching church in your area.

Please come to HIM now....Just as You are. If you have. e-mail us below WE CARE!

If after reading this...you need to talk to someone call 1 888 need HIM (1 888 633 3446)

PLEASE note this is only for the purpose of establishing a right relationship with Jesus Christ. This number is not for immediate counseling

V-Day, a non-profit corporation, distributes funds to grassroots national, and international organizations and programs that work to stop violence against women and girls
 

Don't Throw Your Crayons!

Don't throw your crayons 11/5/04


The ridiculousness and stupidity of "domestic violence" laws continues to sink to new lows as witness the following story from Avon, in Eagle County, Colorado near Vail:

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Avon school principal's husband arrested for throwing crayons
Abstracted from an article in the October 10, 2004, issue of Speakout!
Story by Mike Cacioppo and used with permission


According to a Town of Avon police report, Kimberly Walter, the principal of Meadow Mountain Elementary School, dialed 911 on October 4th and hung up. However, the police dispatcher sent an Avon cop to her home where she told Officer Jonathon Lovins that she and her husband, Richard, were having an argument about finances. According to Lovins' report, they "get into arguments about once a month."


According to the school district, Kimberly Walter earns approximately $70,938 annually, plus $12,059 in annual benefits. Plus, she recently received a check for approximately $9,000 from the school district's recent additional cost of living increase.


"Kimberly said the arguments sometimes get heated like this, but she just picks up the phone as if she is going to call 911, and that usually calms Richard down and ends the argument," Lovins wrote.


The report continued: "Kimberly said there was no hitting or pushing, but Richard did throw a box of crayons across the room."


The thrown crayons resulted in "minor crayon marks" about "5 to 6 inches above the table," according to Lovins' report.*


Lovins then walked Richard Francis outside the home and cuffed him before taking him to the Eagle County jail. **


"Kimberly was upset that I arrested Richard," Lovins wrote. "Kimberly told me that she would now never call 911, unless she was getting the crap beat out of her."


* The officer searched their home without a warrant.
** A warrantless arrest is mandatory when "probable cause" is found. At least a night in jail is required, with an average of 5 days, though we've heard of many cases where the man spends 15-26 days in jail in such cases before being given a hearing and allowed to bond out.

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In similar cases: From Naples, Florida, we hear of a man being arrested for DV after throwing a doughnut. From Rhode Island a police officer's wife tells us her next door neighbor was arrested on DV charges for flicking a cigarette butt to the ground in their driveway in a contemptuous manner in front of his wife.

But Eagle County seems to be constructing a special niche for itself in male persecution, the Kobe Bryant case simply being the most famous one recently. Among many other inane cases, in 2000 an enamored swain took on some liquid courage in Avon with the intent of asking his girlfriend to marry him. Instead they got into a loud argument and the neighbors called the police, who then maced him, handcuffed him, beat him, and threw him down stairs (see Avon cops accused of abuse). In another case an Eagle County woman had her boyfriend arrested and then went to visit him in jail the next day. The Eagle County DA then charged the man with violating a restraining order. And these are just a few of many such cases there.

I often wonder about couples who have never so much as had a pillow fight, or thrown each other down on the bed or a couch and wrestled and made love. What sad relationships those must be! But now, of course, such fun and games are "domestic violence."

One of the most astounding things, however, is how rare real violence is in "domestic violence" cases. Both defense and prosecution attorneys tell me that real violence only occurs in about 3% of the cases that come before the courts.

Colorado, presently leading the nation, and likely the world, in draconian and insane laws against domestic violence, has just elected a Democratic House and Senate. One can reasonably predict even more totalitarian laws against men, marriage, and families in the coming two years as a result. Already restraining orders outnumber marriages in this state.

I am left aghast at the folly of these laws and the representatives who pass them!


Charles E. Corry, Ph.D., F.G.S.A.
President, Equal Justice Foundation http://www.ejfi.org/
455 Bear Creek Road
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80906-5820
Telephone: (719) 520-1089
Domestic violence against men in Colorado: http://www.dvmen.org
Personal home page: http://corry.ws
Curriculum vitae: http://www.marquiswhoswho.net/charleselmocorry/Default.aspx

Don't take the kids to Colorado

EJF newsletter - Don't take the kids to Colorado 6/30/04

For well over a decade parents who home school their children in Colorado have been teaching their little people to go to another room and hide if someone comes to the door because it might be child protective services (CPS) case workers.

In El Paso County one Christian couple packed up and moved out of the United States after a single CPS visit.

In Eagle County recently a woman got a DUI. While she was taking the "cure" a CPS case worker and deputy sheriff took the couple's children from their home on a frivolous claim of child neglect even though there were two nannies looking after the kids while the father was at work. Nor did the case worker and deputy bother with court orders to remove the children. Simply went to the house and took them while the father was at work.

In October 2002, the Rocky Mountain News screamed that a Fort Collins judge had legalized the kidnapping of a woman's twin sons via Social Services. The public was appropriately outraged and you might think that was an isolated incident. Not in Colorado! Children are treated as property of the State - and having a "right " to your child is a mere delusion. The State will determine in all cases who shall raise a child and you can safely bet it won't be the father.

But such local prey for these vultures seems to be getting harder to catch. Parents are learning that the Colorado Dept. of Human Services (DHS-CPS) and the courts are more dangerous to their children than any mountain lion. So now DHS CPS case workers and the courts are apparently expanding their hunting license to include parents who have merely brought their children to Colorado for a visit.

Never mind that Colorado courts don't have jurisdiction over the custody of children who are residents of other states. Colorado judges and magistrates are trained to rule on the basis of any emotion or feeling that enters their little blonde heads. Proceeding without jurisdiction is a common theme encountered by the Equal Justice Foundation in Colorado court cases.

The People of Colorado v. Joseph Culpepper of Texas


Nineteenth Judicial District - Weld County - Case 00 JV 578

Background

A child was born March 15, 1999, in Texas to Mystina Turner and Joseph Culpepper, who were then living near Galveston. Joe and Mystina had a stormy relationship and in September 2000 he gained temporary custody of the little girl with a Texas restraining order.

Following that, Mystina Turner came alone to Colorado, where her grandmother gave Mystina a place to live in Firestone in Weld County, and a job at the nursing home she managed in Louisville in Boulder County.
November 2000

Despite the restraining order, and against the advice of his relatives, Joseph Culpepper brought his daughter to Weld County, Colorado, from Texas for a visit with Mystina over Thanksgiving Day weekend in 2000. He had full custody and was demonstrating consideration for the mother by making the 1,200 mile (1,900 km) trip.

As in many of the cases the Equal Justice Foundation deals with, this one begins with false allegations of domestic violence.

Mystina Turner resolved that Joe wasn't going to take the baby back to Texas with him. The Denver Post (May 6, 2004) quotes her as stating "Over my dead body will Joe get her."

As Culpepper tried to leave to return to Texas, Mystina and her grandmother called Firestone and Louisville police to stop him. In 43 minutes, three calls concerning Joseph Culpepper were placed to two police departments.

On the basis of the Turner's complaint, Louisville police arrested Joseph Culpepper for alleged disorderly conduct at the nursing home Wanda Turner managed. His reported crime: yelling in the hallways for Mystina.
Culpepper was jailed November 28, 2000, and the little girl sitting in his pickup was handed temporarily to Weld County social services.

When Joseph Culpepper was freed days later his daughter was, and remains a foster child.
However, the call to the Firestone police department didn't quite work out as Mystina Turner planned. On December 3, 2001, they arrested her for slashing Culpepper's tires and falsely accusing him of stealing $600 from her. All charges against Joe were dismissed.

Because the father was in jail, safely "out of the way," the Weld County Department of Social Services happily took custody of the little girl to gain the funding bonuses associated with such State kidnappings.
In Magistrate Din Tuttle's court, Culpepper later testified that he told a Weld County caseworker about the Texas restraining order when he was released from jail.

"Do you remember what she said?" he was asked. "Yes," he replied. "This ain't Texas, this is Colorado. We do things a little different around here."

A petition in dependency and neglect was filed against both parents on November 30, 2000, in Weld County Magistrate Din Tuttle's court. Conveniently for the State, the social services petition did not advise the court of the Texas custody order, and the magistrate certainly didn't probe too deeply and ignored Joe Culpepper's testimony. Despite the fact that she didn't have jurisdiction over the child, Magistrate Tuttle gave custody of Joseph Culpepper's daughter to Weld County social services.

I suspect it won't be much of a surprise to readers of this newsletter to find that Ms. Tuttle currently serves on the Standing Committee on Family Issues in Colorado?

January 2001

On January 12, 2001, barely a month after taking the girl from a father who had custody under a Texas court order, and a restraining order against Mystina Turner concerning custody of the child, in direct and flagrant disregard of that order Weld County social services gave the little girl to her mother.

However, Mystina Turner said she was suffering from untreated depression, the trauma of separation from Joe, and the parenting demands imposed by a county caseworker, to say nothing of innumerable court appearances for slashing tires, drunken driving, felony assaults on peace officers, and probation violations. So two months later Weld County took the girl back and gave her to a foster home.

When Joe Culpepper found out his daughter was in a foster home, he went to pick her up and discovered that he had "no right" to do so. Relying on the courts to back them up, Weld County social services told Culpepper that they now controlled the fate of his daughter. By this immoral and degenerate process, foster home couple Jodee and Jody Rupple in Greeley apparently acquired standing to argue that Joseph Culpepper should not have his own daughter.

Culpepper, who had never done anything wrong, was forced to try and meet demands by Weld County Department of Social Services by completing a parenting program and passing a drug-and-alcohol evaluation in Texas. Sometimes he drove 1,200 miles (1,900 km) north to Greeley to spend 45 minutes with his daughter while a caseworker watched them interact in a supervised environment for which Culpepper had to pay an hourly fee.

February 2002

Weld County Magistrate Din Tuttle terminated the rights of the little girl's biological parents even though her court did not have jurisdiction over the child.

Culpepper sought review of the magistrate's decision and in August 2002 District Court (now Chief) Judge Roger Klein adopted the blonde magistrate's illegal order terminating the father's parental rights, still without jurisdiction to do so.

In his motion for review of the magistrate's order of termination, Culpepper asserted that Magistrate Tuttle erred and exceeded the bounds of her temporary emergency jurisdiction. In denying that motion, District Judge Klein found that Culpepper failed to file any Texas orders establishing that the Texas proceeding constituted a custody determination. However, it was later noted that Judge Roger Klein had received into evidence a copy of the Texas restraining order and simply ignored it in his finding.

Joseph Culpepper appealed. Slowly the case proceeded from courtroom to courtroom. Birthdays passed.

April 2004

Normally in Colorado our moribund Court of Appeals simply rubber stamps trial court decisions, particularly in family cases, and especially if a father's rights are involved.

However, the actions of the Weld County magistrate and district court judge were so egregious and so obviously in violation of Colorado law that even the Court of Appeals couldn't excuse them. So in an April 2004 ruling in case 02 CA 1888 they found that:

"Accordingly, we conclude that the magistrate and the district court exceeded their jurisdiction by not limiting the period they exercised temporary emergency jurisdiction. This error was clearly not harmless, because it resulted in termination of father's parental rights without affording him the opportunity to litigate custody issues in the child's home state of Texas.

Accordingly, we reverse the judgment terminating father's parental rights...."

But the Court of Appeals still won't give the little girl back to her father and ruled:

"However, given the length of time that the child has now resided in Colorado, we remand this matter to the district court to make such temporary protective orders as are necessary for the welfare of the child. See E.P. v. Dist. Court, supra (although Colorado court did not have jurisdiction under UCCJA, it could enter temporary protective orders for the child's welfare)."

Thus, the appeals court further alienates the child from her father. And one might bet those champions of parental rights, District Judge Roger Klein and Magistrate P. Dinsmore Tuttle, will delay, obfuscate, and deny Joseph Culpepper at every possible step. Culpepper's attorney expects the case to end up in the U.S. Supreme Court, by which time the little girl will be a teenager.

Justice delayed is justice denied.

After a three and a half year court battle, the Colorado Court of Appeals has finally acknowledged that Joe's parenting rights were violated and placing his daughter in a foster home was "an error."

You would think there could be nothing left to decide - that Joe takes his daughter home - but that's not the case. As noted above, the Court of Appeals remanded the case back to the Weld County District Court (the court that approved of the degenerate acts perpetrated by social service's case workers) for a determination on whether Joe gets to have his daughter back.

To make matters worse for the little girl and Joe Culpepper, the foster parents are fighting to keep his daughter using the demented logic that the little girl is settled in their home and it would be traumatic to move her. On April 15, 2004, just seven days after the Colorado Court of Appeals handed down its ruling that Colorado did not have jurisdiction, Jody and Jodee Rupple of Greeley filed a petition for custody in Weld County District Judge James Hartmann's court, case 04 DR 357.

How does a child reestablish a relationship with her natural father under such circumstances?

Well, it would seem that the State of Colorado and Weld County created the mess, they should fix it. They should buy Joe a house next door to the foster parents out of the 19th Judicial District budget and allow the child to be reacquainted with her dad. Certainly this would be the least the State of Colorado should do for stealing a child.

Anyone care to bet that the State will offer to act in such a humane fashion?

What will certainly happen is that Colorado taxpayers will be asked to fund larger budgets for the judiciary, social services, and district attorneys to deal with the increasing number of cases where the State steals our children.

For additional details on the case of the People (of Colorado) v. Culpepper In the Interest of M.C., a Child see Case 00 JV 578.

Incredibly, in 2004 Weld County attorney Mark Rapp argued that Culpepper abandoned his Texas custody case before his arrest, which was based on false allegations, and therefore Colorado appropriately kept the little girl. One can only assume that any parent who brings their child to Colorado for a visit thereby surrenders custody to the State.

Under the circumstances, it would seem prudent not to come to Colorado with, or without, your children. The skiing is better in Utah and the national parks and monuments are far more spectacular. Plus you are less likely to be arrested and have your children stolen by that state while visiting. Take Interstate 80 to the north, or Interstate 10 to the south, and avoid our redfem paradise.

In addition, as a leading citizen I would like to express my deep personal disgust with the abhorrent behavior of the Weld County justices and social service workers involved in this mockery of the rule of law.

Charles E. Corry, Ph.D., F.G.S.A.--

Disclaimer

The Equal Justice Foundation is a member-supported, non-profit 501(c)(3) corporation.
Contributions are tax deductible and can be made on the Web at http://www.ejfi.org/Join.htm
You are receiving this message because (1) you asked to be added to our mailing list; (2) you sent the EJF an e-mail or requested help from us; (3) you are known to work on issues related to men's or father's rights; (4) you are known to be interested in civil liberties and equal justice for all; (5) your name and address appeared as an addressee on email sent to us; or (6) you are a member of the Equal Justice Foundation.

The mailing list of the Equal Justice Foundation is not distributed to third parties. Occasionally members are put in touch with other individuals on our mailing list when there are known common interests or problems. In normal circumstances permission is requested of the third party before disclosing their e-mail address. Prior permission is not sought if referral is made to another group or individual working on the same, or related problems, and that group or individual is known to seek such referrals.______________________________________________

Charles E. Corry, Ph.D., F.G.S.A
.President, Equal Justice Foundation
http://www.ejfi.org/
455 Bear Creek Road
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80906-5820
Telephone: (719) 520-1089

Domestic violence against men in Colorado:

http://www.dvmen.org

Personal home page: http://corry.ws

Curriculum vitae: http://www.marquiswhoswho.net/charleselmocorry/Default.aspx

Real Stories from Men and Women

Over the next several days, we will be posting "REAL STORIES from both men and women who have been victims of domestic violence. Unless we look at BOTH sides of this issue, we will only make the problem worse.

Mike's Story
I am an abused husband and I can't take much more. All Hell is breaking lose and when I tell my pastor about it he just tells me to love my wife more and suffer well. My home andmarriage of 19yrs is falling apart.

When I tell my pastor of the abuse, he just tells me that he does not think things are the way I say they are. He has even put my wife in charge of teaching other Christian women how to be GodlyWives. My wife has been diagnosed with Multiple PersonalityDisorder. My pastor does not believe it exist!

On one Sunday morning, when I had been severely beaten by my wife. I was bleeding from scratches and punches to my face, chest and back, my shirt was ripped off and I had swelling to my face and a black eye) he walked in and saw my wife with not a mark on her--I don't hit back because I was taught a real man NEVER hits a woman--he saw me all beat up and he turned to me and said, "What did you do to make your wife do this to you?" That seems to be the general consensus, the husband must be an SOB if his wife hits him and he must deserve what he got. Oh my wife is also a victim of Sexual Assault from her childhood. If anyone has Christian Answers please respond to (deleted) I need help.P.S. I am also a 23 yr veteran Police Officer. Go figure.

I fight guys three times my size and win but my wife beats me like a dead dog and I don't hit back. Talk about humiliation!! Her favorite insult is that I am a "(deleted) WIMP" I think it takes more courage to not hit back or defend myself but now I realize that I have become a victim and now think like a victim-not clearly. 19 yrs of abuse have taken their toll. Somebody out there, please Help.


Ron's Story
The story below is very common in our society today. Not only are we getting many more inquires in Shattered Men for this, I have noticed many other sites for men have been getting them too...and they are not the same people. The name was changed to protect those being abused from their abusers finding out that help is being sought. The bold is my emphasizes in some of this story. My reply to this mother is below also.
ken
My son (middle 20's) been married 6 years. My husband and I havealways suspected that she was verbally and physically abusing him.It was confirmed one night while caring for my 6 yr oldgranddaughter. She told me this: I don't like it when my mommy hitsmy daddy. I asked her if mommy does it in front of her and heranswer is: Yes I have seen it and asked her to stop, daddy will askher so nicely to please stop but she punches him over and overagain. I don't know why mommy keeps doing it cause daddy isn't doinganything at all and she just starts doing it. Daddy tells me to goup stairs as soon as mommy starts hitting him.
I cannot sit back anymore knowing that my son is being abused. Idon't understand why he puts up with it. My husband and I think it isbecause their neighbor called the police one night when they werearguing a few years ago. When we asked the police what happened hesaid it is routine that the man is taken away.
Now we feel he thinks he will be taken away again if he calls thepolice on her. He also was ordered by the judge to go to angermanagement class. Why doesn't judges make both partners go? If thereis yelling going on by both husband/wife then both should be orderedto go. So now she has the upper hand and we think she is tellinghim she will say she is just defending herself from him if he callsthe police about her abuse..She is beginning to be mouthy to him around us "his parents". Shehas complete control when we are allowed to see him or ourgranddaughters.
How can I bring up the subject with our son about this abuse? Wehave seen numerous bruises on his body and once he needed medicalattention but refused to go. He comes up with the same excusesmy sister came up with when she was being physically abused yearsago by her husband, I also have had a friend in the past that made up the same excuses when she was in an abusive relationship.
What options can we give our son to stop this abuse? We also knowhis wife is having an affair as my granddaughter told us while daddywas at work she has a man friend over but that mommy says he is justa friend even though they are hugging each other (the man friend anddaughter in law) She goes out every weekend and our son says hedoesn't know where. She doesn't come home till the next day.Sometimes she shows up with wads of money.
Can someone give me some advice how to help my son?Thank You

Why We Do Not Know the Real Facts on Domestic Violence

Statistics can be manipulated.

When one gets funding based on these statistics manipulation can be very rewarding. If I did a study on the number of people who purchased a grill cheese sandwich, and got paid for each grilled cheese purchased, it would be tempting to call any sandwich with cheese a grilled cheese. Of course this would not be honest. There are a number of reasons we do not know the real statistics on domestic violence and we will explore a few of them here.

1: Many of the statistics on the number of abused women were obtained from surveying "women's shelters" These shelters stood to gain funding based upon the number of abused women they found. The more abused women they found, the greater the funding so would it not be in "their" best interest to "find" more of them? Would it not be in "our" best interest to study the statistics from those who have nothing to gain, or lose by what they show?

2: There are many public service announcements encouraging women to seek help for domestic violence. Almost all of these are centered on having female victims and male abusers. Several inform us that the woman is seeking help so her "son" does not become an abuser. Of course we all know her daughter will not become one.

3: We often hear "there is no excuse to hit a woman" yet our society provides countless reasons to hit a man. We see this in sit -coms, drama, movies and almost every mode of entertainment. Men are often beaten, hit and even kicked in the groin and we laugh. If we changed the genders the men would be arrested for aggravated sexual assault if this were to happen. As a result of this "conditioning" we do not see the many often sadistic things done to men as abuse. How often have we, have "you" thought that when a woman hits a man, "what did he do to deserve that?"

4: "Must arrest" laws throw off the statistics. Many locations have "must arrest" and "no drop" laws. There is strong reason to believe that in many of these locations, it is the man that must be arrested since law enforcement agencies get funding from the Violence Against Women Act if a man is arrested for domestic violence. This means the man is arrested even if he is the only victim. Often the D.A. counters that they had a conviction or that he admitted guilt but lets look at this a little closer.

(More on the VAWA HERE)

4A: When a man is arrested for domestic violence for the first offense, he is often given the chance to go to an "anti-violence" or a "batter's class and upon "successful completion" completion of this class, the charges will be dropped. (this is sort of like going to traffic safety class to get a speeding ticket dismissed) however as part of the treatment program for this class the man has to sign a treatment plan. In this plan is an admission of guilt. Without thinking, the plan is signed since not doing so will result in not completing the course and thus he would be tried for domestic violence. However in doing so, he now as a record of domestic violence and the next time police are called, this will come back to haunt him.
5: There are other ways the "must arrest" laws distort the statistics If we take 100 men and 100 women and out of this, 50 men AND 50 women are abusive to their spouse, and if each were arrested, the statistics would show that the rate if 50%. Now suppose that with "must arrest" laws that out of the 50 women that battered their husband or boyfriend, "he" was arrested in 40 of these cases. Now we have 50 abusive men being arrested, but we have 40 male "victims" being arrested as well as 10 of the women that were abusive being arrested. But now when we look at the statistics we now find that 90% of the abusers were MEN...and only 10% were women although in reality the rate was still 50%.

6: Most of the training in domestic violence is provided by feminist sources, often from women's shelters. Many areas now have women's advocates going on all domestic calls. Few if any have a men's advocate. As a result, it is more likely to see abuse where none exists. Also since these "experts" are training the police, the police tend to believe their training.

7: Coupled with the "must arrest" laws, the Violence Against Women Act encourages false allegations of abuse, especially if a woman is thinking of getting a divorce. This will essentially assure her of keeping everything including the kids and the house. Often we see cartoons as a refection of society. There are cartoons that show women coming out of divorce court or with "trophies" on their wall that would be inappropriate for me to link to or to even describe. There must be a reason for these cartoons to be "funny". I am not laughing! Very seldom are these women charged with any crime for making these false allegations. The few that are, are charged with a misdemeanor and given a small fine or a few hours of community service, perhaps in a women's shelter to add insult to injury. The men who were wrongfully charged however will have spent thousands of dollars, time in jail and still have lost all they had. As a result, there is little to lose to falsely accuse one's spouse of a domestic abuse and everything to gain. The damage to the man however is often very severe and even life threatening Some have gone on to commit suicide as a result.

8: Men are taught to take it like a "man" I have seen men that could be tackle on football teams that would not admit a woman inflicted an injury to them so in turn they said they were in a fight with another man or that they were mugged. Yes it may be "pride" but what would your reaction be if a 200 pound man was beaten by a 100 pound woman? Would you be tempted to tease him? Think about it. It is this type of teasing that prevents men from speaking up.

9: There are no funds to help battered men. Not only are there no funds from the government, there are few if any funds from private corporations that do fund women's programs well.
PLEASE NOTE: MOST homes do not include any of the above. YES we do agree that many women ARE abused and some severely. Many are abused without provocation. The problem is not however a GENDER problem,. but a HUMAN problem It is a SIN problem. Please check this web site and especially THE FIRST STEP TOWARD BETTER RELATIONSHIPS for solutions.

From

http://www.shatterdmen.com/pagetwo.htm

FATHER FACTS

Father Facts: Top Ten Father Facts:

From: THE NATIONAL FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE(NFI)

http://www.fatherhood.org/fatherfacts_t10.aspGET THE ENTIRE BOOK with a NFI T Shirt FREE when joining the NFI
1. 24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.

2. Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.

3. 1.35 million births (33 percent of all births) in 2000 occurred out ofwedlock.

4. 43 percent of first marriages dissolve within fifteen years; about 60percent of divorcing couples have children; and approximately one millionchildren each year experience the divorce of their parents.

5. Over 3.3 million children live with an unmarried parent and the parent'scohabiting partner. The number of cohabiting couples with children has nearlydoubled since 1990, from 891,000 to 1.7 million today.

6. Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close,enduring relationship with their children than those who do not. The bestpredictor of father presence is marital status. Compared to children born withinmarriage, children born to cohabiting parents are three times as likely toexperience father absence, and children born to unmarried, non-cohabitingparents are four times as likely to live in a father-absent home.

7. About 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen theirfather at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in adifferent state than their children; and 50 percent of children living absenttheir father have never set foot in their father's home.

8. Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at leasttwo to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experienceeducational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of childabuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with theirmarried, biological (or adoptive) parents.

9. From 1960 to 1995, the proportion of children living in single-parent homestripled, from 9 percent to 27 percent, and the proportion of children livingwith married parents declined. However, from 1995 to 2000, the proportion ofchildren living in single-parent homes slightly declined, while the proportionof children living with two married parents remained stable.

10. Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to dowell in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-socialbehavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminalactivity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.

Father Factshttp://www.fatherhood.org/fatherfacts_lb.asp

Late-Breaking Father Facts

Importance of Father Love for Child Well-Being

In an analysis of nearly 100 studies on parent-child relationships, father love (measured by children'sperceptions of paternal acceptance/rejection, affection/indifference) was as important as mother love in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults:

Having a loving and nurturing father was as important for a child's happiness, well-being, and social and academic success as having a loving and nurturing mother. Withdrawal of love by either the father or the mother was equally influential in predicting a child's emotional instability, lack of self-esteem, depression, social withdrawal, and level of aggression.

In some studies, father love was actually a better predictor than mother love for certain outcomes, including delinquency and conduct problems, substance abuse, and overall mental health and well-being. Other studies found that, after controlling for mother love, father love was the sole significant predictor for certain outcomes, such as psychological adjustment problems, conduct problems, and substance abuse.

Source: Rohner, Ronald P., and Robert A. Veneziano. "The Importance of FatherLove:
History and Contemporary Evidence." Review of General Psychology 5.4(December 2001): 382-405.

Consequences of Divorce on Father-Child Relationships

In a longitudinal study of 2,500 children of divorce, twenty years after the divorce less than one-third of boys and one-quarter of girls reported having close relationships with their fathers. In contrast, seventy percent of youths from the comparison group of intact families reported feeling close to their fathers.

Source: Hetherington, E. Mavis, and John Kelly.

For Better or For Worse:
Divorce Reconsidered. New York: W.W. Norton and Company, 2002: 231.


"Fragile Families" Findings

Preliminary survey data from the Fragile Families and Child Well being Study, a longitudinal study of 2,670 unmarried couples with children, suggests that most unwed fathers are highly involved shortly after the child's birth:

50% of unmarried parents were living together at the time of the child's birth, and another 33% were romantically involved but living apart.

80% of the fathers were involved in helping the baby's mother during thepregnancy, either financially or in other ways (such as transportation).

73% of mothers reported that the chances that they will marry the baby's fatherare "fifty-fifty" or greater;

88% of fathers reported that the odds of marrying the mother of their child are "fifty-fifty" or greater.

64% of the mothers and 75% of the fathers agreed with the statement, "it is better for children if their parents are married."

90% of unmarried mothers rated "husband having a steady job" and "emotional maturity" as very important qualities for a successful marriage.

37% of the mothers and

34% of the fathers lack a high school degree, and lessthan a third had any education beyond high school.

30% of the fathers were unemployed in the week before their child was born.* Compared to a nearly perfect response rate from mothers, only 75 percent of fathers responded to the survey, resulting in a selection effect that most likely inflates the above percentages for fathers.

Source: McLanahan, Sara, Irwin Garfinkel, Nancy E. Reichman, Julien Teitler,Marcia Carlson, and Christian Norland Audigier. The Fragile Families and ChildWellbeing Study Baseline Report. The Center for Research on Child Wellbeing(Princeton University) and the Social Indicators Survey Center (ColumbiaUniversity), August 2001.

Father Facts
http://www.fatherhood.org/fatherfacts_spl.asp

Sample Father Facts

Child Abuse

The rate of child abuse in single-parent families is nearly twice the rate of child abuse in two-parent households.
Source: America's Children: Key National Indicators of Well-Being. FederalInteragency Forum on Child and Family Statistics. Washington, DC: GPO, 1997.

Crime

Even after controlling for family background variables such as mother'seducation level, race, family income, and number of siblings, as well asneighborhood variables such as unemployment rates and median income, boys whogrew up outside of intact marriages were, on average, more than twice as likelyas other boys to end up in jail.

Source: Harper, Cynthia C., and Sara S. McLanahan. "Father Absence and YouthIncarceration." Paper presented at the annual meeting of the AmericanSociological Association, San Francisco, CA, August 1998.

Drug and Alcohol Use

Even after controlling for the effects of gender, age, race-ethnicity, familyincome, and residential mobility, teens in single-parent and stepparent familieswere 2 times more likely to use illegal drugs compared to teens in intact,two-parent married families.
Source: Hoffmann, John P., and Robert A. Johnson. "A National Portrait of FamilyStructure and Adolescent Drug Use." Journal of Marriage and the Family 60(August1998): 633-645.
Education

Even after controlling for differences in income, children who were born out ofwedlock and either remained in a single-parent family or whose mothersubsequently married had significantly poorer math and reading scores and lowerlevels of academic performance than children from continuously marriedhouseholds.
Source: Cooksey, Elizabeth C. "Consequences of Young Mothers' Marital Historiesfor Children's Cognitive Development." Journal of Marriage and the Family 59(May1997): 245-261.

Poverty

Single-parent families are five times as likely to be poor as married-couplefamilies. In 1999, 6.3 percent of married-couple families with children wereliving in poverty, compared to 31.8 percent of single-parent families withchildren.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau. Current Population Survey.

Father Facts: Research Notesby Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., and Tom Sylvester
http://www.fatherhood.org/fatherfacts_rsh.asp

The First Step to Better Relationship

The First Step to Better Relationship
(how to have eternal life)
Most of us have problems with relationships from time to time. When relationships become abusive we all know serious problems are present. It is my intention to post the basic emotional needs of both men and women shortly. If these needs are not met, it can set the stage for abuse to start. There is one major step before this that should be the FIRST step in improving any interpersonal interaction.
We can not have a good relationship with any other person until we have a good relationship with GOD first. Many people know ABOUT God but to have a relationship with Him, we have to KNOW Him. What is the difference?Knowing about God can include us being aware of all the facts concerning Him. Many people think that knowing that Jesus Christ died for our sin is all that is needed for salvation. It is NOT! In order to have salvation that is to have eternal life there are a few basic steps we need to follow. This is so important I want to go over them,
1: We need to realize we have sinned. Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God This means we have failed to met the goal of being perfect in order to enter heaven. Few of us would question this.
2: The penalty for the sin that we are guilty of is death. Romans 6:23 tells us The wages of sin is death. (Death is separation. When our body dies, our soul is separated from our body. Eternal death is when we die without doing what is being explained here and then our spirit is separated from God for eternity.
Since the only price we can pay for our own sin is to be separated from God forever, it stands to reason that there is no way we can pay for our sin ourselves. We thus come to the 2nd part of Romans 6:23: but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ the Lord.
3: 2nd Corinthians 5:21 informs us: For he hath made him, who knew no sin, to be sin for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. Jesus Christ, God's only Son became sin for us so that we can be freed from the penalty of sin. What then do we need to do?
4: For GOD so loved the world that HE gave His only begotten Son that whosoever (read YOUR name here) believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Please note the ONLY condition given is that we believe in Jesus Christ for full payment for our sin.
5: Many times our own past activities or the activities of our ancestors may be a basis for demonic problems based on Exodus 20:5. It is important therefore to Renounce the sins of our ancestors.
Now if we only learn these facts, even though we may understand that they are true and believe them. that is only knowing ABOUT GOD. How do we KNOW HIM then? It is APPLYING that payment to our account.
This would be like having a check to pay a bill and putting the check on a desk. The bill does not get paid because the check was never APPLIED to your account. Once we know and believe the facts pointed out above, the next step is to TALK to God much as you and I would and admit that we have fallen short of what He wants.
We recognize that we deserve to be separated from a Holy God. We then tell Him that we know that He has provided a payment for all our sin and this payment was Jesus Christ when He died on a cross.
It is at this time we ask God to APPLY THIS PAYMENT TO OUR ACCOUNT. We ask God to credit as PAYMENT IN FULL for all our sin the price Jesus paid for us. It is this step that gives us eternal life. If we do all but this step, we know about God.
When we do this step, we will KNOW God and we will have eternal life. Following is a model of a prayer to trust Christ.
Lord God, I now realize I am a sinner. I realize I have fallen short of the goal You have set forth for eternal life and I now repent of this sin. I also understand that according to Your Word, the Bible, that Your Son, Jesus Christ as paid the debt for me and I am now asking You to credit the payment Jesus made on the cross to my sin. Lord God, I also renounce any sin on the part of my ancestors that may have been invitations to curses or demonic activity. Lord God I also now understand that You have now given me eternal life and I thank You for that fact. Amen.
If you have prayed this prayer Please click on the scroll below and send us and e-mail so we can send you some information to help you grown in Christ. If you do not have a church home we would also like to try to help you find a Bible believing and teaching church in your area.
Music playing...Just As I Am Please come to HIM now....Just as You are. If you have. e-mail us below WE CARE!
If after reading this...you need to talk to someone
call 1 888 need HIM
(1 888 633 3446)
PLEASE note this is only for the purpose of establishing a right relationship with Jesus Christ. This number is not for immediate counseling

TAKE BACK SOCIETY!

TAKE BACK SOCIETY!

One of the first things we hear from society in general when we say we are "antifeminist" is that we do not like women. I believe in reality, the feminist (meaning the gender or radical feminist) are the ones who do not like women. I think they really are male wanna be's who have a low self worth. If we notice, may of those that do feel this way do put others down that they think are "better" then they are.

I have often stated that feminist treat women like they were little children. They want to excuse very wrong behavior from adult women while they want to hold young boys accountable as adults. Until we hold EACH person, male or female accountable for their OWN actions...we will not have "equality"

Until we see the likes of NOW change their web site and program to "equal rights for ALL" and not equal rights to 'women' we will not see equality.

Until we see feminist cross out "to women" from their STOP VIOLENCE signs....we will not see equality.

Until we have a government that will not allow special interest groups to dictate laws.....and by this I mean not allowing the radical feminist to write our domestic violence laws in that the Violence Against Women Act was written by the National Organization of Women we will not see equality.

http://www.shatterdmen.com/VAWA%20too.htm

Would we allow the KKK to write a "Violence Against Whites Act" without protest? WHY then have allowed feminist to do the same with gender relations?

Feminist have taken our SOCIETY hostage. They demand "take back the night" Well, I think WE need to take back the DAY....and let them know that they have never really lost the night except by THEIR own treatment of men. When we realize a great many of the "sexual assaults" are not about sex but are misplaced anger at women in general, we will not understand how to stop this. We do realize sexual assault IS a horrible crime no matter why it is done, but if we realize WHY it is done, we can better do something to prevent it. IF we VALUED ALL our people I think this would go a long way in doing this.

Gender feminist have been holding our BUSINESS hostage with their twisted "sexual harassment" views...it is ok for women to go to work in short skirts and low cut blouses..but a man better not look at them for more then .34 of a second or it is harassment. The hold our business hostage by demanding "affirmative action" which "gives" women things on a silver platter meanwhile bragging that women can do anything a man can do...and often adding with a smirk...only better. Well, if that is true...let them put their money where their mouth is and let EACH person advance on their OWN merits.

They hold our BUSINESS hostage in the pay gap myth which has been disproved countless of times

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Womens%20Study%20Pay%20Gap%20Myth.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Pay%20Gap.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Empress%20with%20no%20cloths.htm

Gender feminist have taken over our COLLEGES and demand "women studies" in which the S.C.U.M. manifesto is on the reading list..a book so full of literal hate that it demands the killing of almost every male. YET if a man dares tell a woman she looks good...he is brought up on charges.

http://www.gabnet.com/lit/deich3e.htm (warn..adult content)

http://www.shatterdmen.com/MOTHER%20of%20All%20Myths.htm

Gender feminist have been holding our COURTS hostage in that they demand and get whatever they want. FAMILY courts are anything but family friendly. Criminal courts prevent men from being able to defend themselves if accused of a crime against a woman to the point that there are a dozen women only excuses to get away with crime. A man can not bring up a perverted sexual history of a woman who has accused him of rape...even if that sexual history shows a major record of false accusations.

http://www.shatterdmen.com/MurderSuicides.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Supreme%20Court%20Ignores%20mens%20rights.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Family%20Courts%20Victimize%20Fathers.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/NOW%20CourtReport.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/NOW%20court%20not%20corrupt%20enough.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/A%20Judge%20Tells.htm

Our LAW ENFORCEMENT is being held hostage.

In many areas, gender feminist actually teach our police what is a crime against women. Workshops in which feminist teach police what constitutes domestic violence is being funded by our tax dollars by the Violence Against Women Act. It is to the point where it is almost impossible for a woman to abuse men although unbiased sources show that women hit men first more often.

We even had a former chief of police as a moderator in Shattered Men but he not only "resigned" as moderator, he left the group. When questioned, he did have the integrity to admit that he did find it hard to believe there were abused men. He further admitted that he did feel he was biased in his training as a police officer and that feminist were teaching just what I have pointed out. Why he chose to believe this lie is beyond me.

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Myths%20of%20DV.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Absurity%20of%20DV%20Campaigns.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/DV%20Allegations.htm

Feminist are training our police what sexual assault is. This is in spite of the fact that many feminist believe any sex a woman has with a man...is sexual assault. They have successfully banned testimony that not only could but would acquit almost any man of charges of sexual assault. Once such case was the "internet rapist who spent I believe 7 years in prison for kidnapping and raping a woman. It was only upon an appeal that they allowed e-mail from her that showed that they met in a a bondage room and that she had fantasies of being "kidnapped, tied up and raped" This showed they were only acting out HER fantasies.

http://www.shatterdmen.com/feminist_agenda.htm

Others have had evidence of repeated false accusations of rape denied as evidence while yet another man was being accused. Yet, even if proven that the accusation was false, nothing or very little is done to her. False reporting is only a misdemeanor in most areas but a charge of rape is a class A felony. The man will often lose thousands of dollars, his reputation, his family and often his freedom, well she most often loses nothing.

http://www.menweb.org/uwsexadv.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/false%20rape%20stats.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/false%20rape%20charges.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/False%20Rape%20Accusations.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Indications.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/False%20%20Accusations%20and%20Feminism.htm

Gender feminist are holding our SCHOOLS hostage as they have made it almost a crime for boys to act like boys. We have only to read Christina Hoff Sommers recent book: The War Against Boys to see this.

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Schools%20Boy%20Unfriendly.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Children%20and%20the%20Gender%20Wars.htm

Gender feminist are holding our news MEDIA hostage. When they can assure the censorship of anything that exposes them...even to the point that we could not get any press releases for the Million Dad March printed our press is a hostage. When a news paper will not run a simple business card for Shattered Men because it is "too controversial" our media is a hostage. When one of the few brave reports about the other side of abuse is made and the reporters are given literal and meaningful death threats...our press IS a hostage.

http://www.shatterdmen.com/NOWatttacks.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Matriarchy%20Rules.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/False%20News%20Reports.htm

Our HEALTH CARE system is being held hostage by the feminist agenda. We have often heard about the health care gap against women BUT when this was retracted as never having existed..we have not heard one word:

http://www.shatterdmen.com/NIH%20Retracts%20Claim.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Womens%20health%20research.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Health%20Care%20Gap.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Playing%20Catch%20Up%20On%20Health%20Research.htm

Illness that effect ONLY men as opposed to mostly women get a fraction of the funding and attention.

One has only to look at all the ads and fund rising for breast cancer vs prostate cancer. Spending in 1997 on research looked something like this: Breast Cancer $12,800/death, prostate cancer $2,700/death.) There was almost NO pubic service announcments for prostate cancer "week" vs breast cancer month. Prostate cancer receives the least amount of funding per patient of all major cancers.

Our FAMILIES are being held hostage. In spite of the proven harm done to both our boys and girls from fatherless homes, the war on fathers by gender feminist go on.

http://www.shatterdmen.com/First%20Remove%20the%20Father.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/sidlelining%20fathers.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/War%20On%20Fathers%20Continues.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Disenfranchised%20dads.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/More%20Abuse%20of%20men%20by%20CPS.htm

Gender feminist hold our CHURCHES hostage.

http://www.shatterdmen.com/What%20is%20Wrong%20with%20Fellowship%20Today.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/IGNORED.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/FEMINIZED%20CHURCHES.htm

When WE....are forced to pay for this...WE ARE HOSTAGES!

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Funding%20Feminist%20Agenda.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Funding%20Feminism.htm

Is it not time to TAKE BACK SOCIETY?

There is a remedy to false charges of abuse or assault. We have to take back SOCIETY and stiffen the penalties for false accusations. . We can no longer afford to enable anyone to falsely accuse another of a crime that will cost them dearly while at most, they will only face a minor charge resulting in a small fine if that. It is time to pass laws that will have a false accuser face the SAME penalty as those they have accused.

http://www.shatterdmen.com/False%20Witnes.htm

I also want to remind each of us...that we do reap what we sow. If we have sexual relationships with someone not our spouse, it is far easier to be accused of doing so by force. There is a hidden cost to sin :

http://www.shatterdmen.com/HIDDEN%20COST.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Sexual%20Sin.htm

http://www.shatterdmen.com/pleasure.htm

Is it not time to VALUE....ALL our people??

LET'S TAKE BACK SOCIETY?